Media Platforms Design Team
Some nights you're bound to be SOL, but use our mood-shifting tips and you could get lucky.
Media Platforms Design Team
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her mood: excited
As she's surfing an adrenaline high, tons of hormones rush through her body, fueling her giddy state. You can hijack that buzz by coming on strong: Walk up behind her, wrap your arms around her waist, press your crotch into her backside, and plant a hot kiss on the side of her neck. Your take-no-prisoners move will release dopamine into her system-a chemical that sparks reactions in the brain's pleasure centers, igniting feelings of bliss and intensifying her desire for you. Mission accomplished.
Warning: Do Not…
Pour her a glass of wine. By getting her to relax, you'll dampen her high-intensity adrenaline.
Sources: psychologist Michael J. Bader, PhD, author of Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies; sexologist Gloria Brame, PhD, author of The Truth About Sex; relationship expert Pepper Schwartz, PhD, author of Everything You Know About Love and Sex Is Wrong
Media Platforms Design Team
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Her Mood: Silly
When a woman is feeling goofy, she wants you to be playful with her as well. If that sounds like an invitation to get hands-on, that's because it is. Start by tickling her or by giving her a flirty spank. Your goal: Get physical while keeping her laughing, because humor is an awesome aphrodisiac. Once you have her giggling, take the flirting up a notch by grabbing her by the butt and pulling her toward your hips. The motion simulates sex, which will kick those naughty thoughts into gear.
Warning: Do Not…
Act overly sarcastic. Women like dry humor, but a little goes a long way.
Sources: psychologist Michael J. Bader, PhD, author of Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies; sexologist Gloria Brame, PhD, author of The Truth About Sex; relationship expert Pepper Schwartz, PhD, author of Everything You Know About Love and Sex Is Wrong
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Her Mood: Relaxed
She might not be ready to jump you, but if she's relaxed, it won't take much to get her there.
First, slowly pull her close, so that she's leaning against your chest. The warmth of your body against hers will cause her
brain to release a surge of oxytocin, the "cuddle hormone" that boosts intimacy. After a few minutes, lightly run your hand up and down her hip to wake up her nerves. Then let your hand wander to the inside of her thigh. After that, you know what to do.
Warning: Do Not…
Go straight for her boobs or butt. She wants to chill, so a too-direct approach will shut her off.
Sources: psychologist Michael J. Bader, PhD, author of Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies; sexologist Gloria Brame, PhD, author of The Truth About Sex; relationship expert Pepper Schwartz, PhD, author of Everything You Know About Love and Sex Is Wrong
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Her Mood: Tired
Since the last thing she probably feels like doing is moving, acknowledging that she has zero energy up front is key if you don't want her to turn you down.
Say, "Long day, huh? Here, sit back and relax." Then prop her feet up on your lap and massage them – it will warm her up to your touch. After a few minutes, slowly knead your way up her legs – first her calf, then her thigh, etc. If all goes well, by the time you reach her upper thigh (a supererotic spot on a woman), she'll want more.
Warning: Do Not…
Wait too long. She could drift off to sleep any second, so you need to act fast.
Sources: psychologist Michael J. Bader, PhD, author of Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies; sexologist Gloria Brame, PhD, author of The Truth About Sex; relationship expert Pepper Schwartz, PhD, author of Everything You Know About Love and Sex Is Wrong
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Her Mood: Bummed
Whatever she's down about, you have to address it or she'll keep dwelling. Ask what's on her mind, and give her time to vent. Showing sympathy will make her feel that you're on her side, which revs up her romantic feelings and increases her desire.
Give her a tender kiss, so she feels cared for. Then take one finger and trace her waistline. Make eye contact and slip your finger further down, continuing to kiss as you go – this sends a sexual signal and transforms your kisses from sweet to lusty.
Warning: Do Not…
Try to solve her problem. It will just irk her – what she really wants is for you to listen.
Sources: psychologist Michael J. Bader, PhD, author of Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies; sexologist Gloria Brame, PhD, author of The Truth About Sex; relationship expert Pepper Schwartz, PhD, author of Everything You Know About Love and Sex Is Wrong
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Her Mood: Stressed
Probe about what's stressing her and it will magnify the issue, since you'll force her to focus on it. Distract her from the stress by offering to make her a cocktail or challenging her to a game of Wii. The action will pump up her endorphins, so her nervous tension will dissipate.
Once you sense her mood lightening, put your hand on her shoulder and stroke her upper arm in a soothing gesture. After a few seconds, pull her close and give her one more distraction: a sultry kiss that will lead to more.
Warning: Do Not…
Tell her to chill. She'll freak and think you're belittling her anxiety, even if you're just trying to help.
Sources: psychologist Michael J. Bader, PhD, author of Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies; sexologist Gloria Brame, PhD, author of The Truth About Sex; relationship expert Pepper Schwartz, PhD, author of Everything You Know About Love and Sex Is Wrong
Media Platforms Design Team
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Her Mood: Pissed Off
If she's pissed at you and you want action, you're better off just apologizing. If she senses your sincerity, she will probably feel bad for being so worked up. Coyly ask, "How can I make it up to you?" That should lighten the mood and pave the way for you to give her a hug and squeeze her tightly to you.
While still holding her, gently lead her to the nearest couch or bed, lay her down on it, and start kissing up her arm, working your way to her lips.
Warning: Do Not…
Try to prove your point. Which feels better: winning an argument or a toe-curling climax? Yeah.
Sources: psychologist Michael J. Bader, PhD, author of Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies; sexologist Gloria Brame, PhD, author of The Truth About Sex; relationship expert Pepper Schwartz, PhD, author of Everything You Know About Love and Sex Is Wrong
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The scene: You're coming home at the end of the long work day, exhausted, and want nothing more than to put on your favorite sweatpants and eat cereal out of the box with your bare hands.
Except, wait, not really — you also want to have sex. But, like, that can't possibly happen — not with the kids, not with work stress, and certainly not with the fact that your body feels like the zombified version of its former self. Well...that's not exactly true. There are ways to get turned on and feel sexy, even when everything around you seems to indicate that zero sex is going to happen.
"Women are more like crockpots, men are more like microwaves," says Megan Fleming, Ph.D., relationship and sex therapist. Yes, Crate & Barrel is a metaphor for your marriage — in that you can't zap yourself into becoming turned on. There is no sex switch in your body that can make you go from "work mode" to "sex mode," unless you are a robot, in which case, hi, cool.
In order to be able to get yourself feeling sexy, you have to let that sexiness ~simmer~.
Fleming calls this '"keeping your pilot light on." That means making your sex life a priority and having your sexuality be something you carry with you every day — as opposed to just leaving it in the rusty attic-like part of your brain ("oh, I'll take that out when I need it!" ***Never does***). It then makes it a lot easier to get into the mood — if you already consider yourself sexy, why wouldn't you feel ready to go at a moment's notice? There are a myriad of ways to do that, because feeling sexy is subjective. So ask yourself: What makes you feel sexy? Is it wearing sexy lingerie? Or is it thinking about an extremely hot time you had with your partner? Or is it...yoga? Or dancing? Or...
"I've worked with some clients who feel sexy when they practiced yoga. Others feel sexy when they dance to their favorite songs, put on a new lingerie set, or touch their own bodies," says sex therapist Vanessa Marin.
"You want to think of getting turned on as a gift you can give to yourself, or a way that you're pampering yourself." In fact, she considers the upkeep of your own sexuality a part of self-care.
One way to get in the mood faster when you get home from work? Create a routine that allows you to even be able to get turned on quickly, let alone at all.
"When I'm working with a client around this issue, one of the things I've found most helpful is to create some sort of ritual around coming home," says Marin. " Something you can do to indicate that your long, stressful day is over, and it's time to transition into relaxing and connecting with your partner. It's different for every woman, but it could involve taking a shower, changing your clothes, putting on some fun music, or meditating for a few minutes. Even closing your eyes and just taking a few deep breaths can work wonders!"
It's probably time to ditch your routine of getting home from work.
..and reading work emails.
No one is judging your ex-boyfriend from college (or am I...), but the environment where you plan to have sex is crucial, and a messy, hellhole of a bedroom is not going to do your sex life any favors. Anything you can do to make your room feel sexy — and less stressful — is helpful.
"The foundation of arousal is relaxation," says Fleming, so keeping your bedroom clean and free of clutter is one way to help keep it a safe space, or a "sanctuary," as she puts it. That will keep you from being distracted and able to feel sexier and turned on way faster.
And given the importance of environment, don't discount the help of a little mood lighting! Lighting candles to give the room a sexy feel can certainly help, too. Whatever mood music works for you, too — whether that's The Weeknd or 112's classic jam "Peaches and Cream" – can also help to facilitate an environment that primes you for getting turned on.
It's not exactly rocket science, but think about it: If you go into the whole sex thing thinking that you're not going to enjoy it, you probably won't get turned on very quickly. "If you don't enjoy sex, how can you get expect yourself to crave it?" Marin says. "It's important to work with your partner to keep exploring sex and finding ways to make it more pleasurable for you both." So, be open with your partner about what you want and what you need to orgasm. Knowing sex means a mind-blowing orgasm is certainly a way to desire it.
Fleming recommends using a sex toy that focuses on your pleasure — like the Fiera, which has been praised by the San Francisco Chronicle for being "a device designed to help women overcome the anxiety of not feeling in the mood for sex when their partner is ready.
" It was designed by an ob/gyn and claims to help women feel aroused when they're not in the mood by using suction and vibration. Hooray for technology.
Don't underestimate the power of thought! Brains are cool — having a go-to fantasy can be a surefire way to get you feeling sexy. Even if that just means a firefighter coming to rescue you with his, uh, fire hose.
If you want to feel turned on and you suddenly start thinking about this massive project that's due next week...you, um, know that's probably not going to help too much, right?
"One powerful trick is to gently remind yourself what your options are in the moment," says Marin. " Let's say you had a really rough day at work, and you keep finding yourself feeling distracted. You can say to yourself, 'OK, I can keep thinking about my boss and what a jerk she is, or I can focus on spending some time with my partner.
" Sometimes just putting it in that context can make us feel much more open to connecting.'"
Remember how your partner thinks you're super sexy, even at times you might feel less so? Marin suggests picturing yourself from your partner's perspective. "Most of us women are really hard on ourselves." she says. We're critical of our bodies, and we struggle to think of ourselves as sexy. But think about how your partner views you. Think about specific compliments they've given you. Think about how excited they are to be intimate with you! You'll be ~feeling yourself~ in no time.
There has never been a better excuse to just lie there, naked, with your partner. "The best thing you can do is get naked and hold and touch each other. Studies have shown that our bodies release oxytocin after just 20-30 seconds of skin to skin contact," Marin says.
"Oxytocin helps you relax, feel more connected to your partner, and feel the desire for even more connection."
Though this might not seem like an instantaneous way to get in the mood, preparation can pay off. Fleming is a huge proponent of scheduling sex. "If you don't schedule sex, it isn't going to happen," she says. "You don't know if you're going to feel horny or sexy at 2 o'clock on a Saturday." If you know you're having sex on, say, Tuesday night, you can do little things all day on Tuesday so that when it's go-time, you actually feel ready to go.
Though women can get aroused quickly with the right stimulation, imagery, or fantasy, any pressure — from yourself or someone else — will kill the moment.
"The irony here is that rushing to make yourself turned on will probably make you less turned on," says Marin. "Whenever we feel pressured to do something, we usually react the exact opposite way. So it's really important not to bully or pressure yourself into feeling desire. "
Chances are, it's probably (hopefully) not your partner who's pressuring you. If you're pressuring yourself to feel turned on to have sex when you're just not feeling it, then it's a no-go. Obviously, you should never feel like you are obligated to have sex under any circumstances, and it's OK to just sometimes not be in the mood.
The next time you're trying to get through a midday slump, head to the bathroom and snap a sexy picture for your guy. Spending a few minutes sending some perfectly inappropriate texts back and forth will get you both excited to head home.
..and spend the rest of the night acting out your convo in between the sheets.
OK, OK — this one's cheating a bit. But experts say one of the best ways to tell your hubby some of your turn-ons without feeling embarrassed is to pretend those said turn-ons happened in a dirty "dream," even if they didn't. Sharing the naughty things that went down in your sleep is a sneaky way to let him know your real-life fantasies — and there's a good chance he'll act on them.
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Girls are emotional creatures, and their mood is as unpredictable as the weather. It can be spoiled due to stress at work, a phrase dropped by a random passer-by, or a jump in hormones. How to cheer up a girl and cheer her up, said Ph.
D. Mindy S. Kurtser and experts from the Psi-Modern portal.
How to quickly cheer up a girl? To quickly improve a girl’s mood, take advantage of the Internet, give her a few compliments, feed her tasty food, fulfill a small wish, make her laugh, be close and arrange a joint movie show, pick up a peppy playlist, go in for sports together, go on a trip.
Being in a depressed mood, many girls feel lonely. At such moments, you can increase the spirit of a friend just by being with her.
Whatever she feels, be it the pain of loss or sadness after a hard day's work, she needs support. Become such a support for the girl. Be the person who will offer silent support and be there for her no matter what happens in her life.
How to cheer up a girl with compliments? In a moment of weakness, girls need support. They need to be reminded of their strength, beauty, resourcefulness and many hidden talents.
Give her a few compliments to cheer up the fair sex.
Tell her how wonderful, inventive, attractive she is. Compliment her accomplishments, dress style, taste in music, and her ability to choose songs for any occasion. Such words will make a friend smile and melt her sadness in a few minutes.
It is commonly believed that laughter prolongs life. It can also serve as a cure for girlish sadness and blues. To cheer up, make the girl laugh. You can tell a joke, remember a funny story from your life or send a portion of memes to the messenger. Videos about funny animals and funny videos from YouTube will be appropriate. Black humor, vulgar jokes and ironic remarks about a girl are best avoided. The main task is to make her laugh.
The relationship between food intake and mood, according to Mindy S. Kurtzer, Ph.D., is not well understood. Despite this, one of the easiest ways to cheer up a girl is to feed her.
Be guided by the girl's tastes when choosing treats.
Buy her a chocolate bar, order sushi, or, for example, take her to a nearby restaurant. After a tasty meal, the fair sex will forget about sadness and longing.
Music can be a good cure for blues and depression. Make a fun playlist for your friend. Turn on tracks that inspire and energize. Add your favorite dance hits, try to avoid melancholy music. Such tracks will not cheer you up, but will fuel the already dull mood of the girl.
Kirsten Weir recommends incorporating exercises and warm-ups into your therapy regimen. The fact is that the mood and mental state of a person directly depends on his health and physical activity.
If you want to cheer up a girl, make her move. Invite a friend for a run, take her to the gym, take a bike ride, or go dancing together. Any physical activity will do. After her, the girl is guaranteed the release of endorphins and a good mood.
If the girl is moping, invite her to watch a movie or series together.
A bright picture on the big screen will help her escape from sad thoughts and look at her problems from a different angle.
The Psi-Modern project recommends watching the latest releases at the cinema or having a movie show with popcorn at home. For the treatment of sadness, a romantic comedy, a light action movie, or, for example, a full-length cartoon with funny dialogues, is suitable. When choosing films, be guided by the tastes of the girl.
Arrange a movie show: Unsplash/Felipe BustilloHow to cheer up a pen girlfriend? Corresponding with the fair sex in social networks or instant messengers, you can easily cheer her up. Use built-in services for this: send your interlocutor a cute message with a cool sticker, an animated picture, a song you like, or a virtual gift. Likes and comments under her posts in social networks will help to cheer up the girl.
What phrases can cheer up a girl? Trying to save your pen pal from longing, try not to copy poems and abstruse phrases written by someone.
Focus on the girl and write just for her. So she can feel her importance and significance.
If the imagination does not turn on, use phrases prepared in advance. Rhetoric instructor and Cake project expert Joseph Oliveto believes that expressing support will help a girl overcome her sadness and bad mood. For example, “You are not alone. I’m ready to listen to you at any time”, “Let me know if I can help you with something”, “If you want to talk out - I’m there” or “Many people get into similar situations, but not everyone copes with the problem as easily as you".
When you help a girl raise her morale, be her Santa Claus. Fulfill one of her wishes. It is not necessary to give the keys to a brand new sports car, something smaller will do. For example, a bouquet of wild flowers, a relaxing massage, or a spontaneous purchase of chocolate at a nearby mall. Indulging the whims of the girl, you can inspire her and help her cope with sadness.
Give a Girl a Gift: Pexels Sometimes travel becomes the only effective means of combating boredom.
If a girl is constantly moping and cannot get rid of a bad mood, arrange a trip for her. Organize a joint mini-vacation abroad, go fishing with an overnight stay, or go to explore the sights of a neighboring town. On the trip, you will have a good time and help the girl unwind, because during the trip she will not have time to get hung up on problems.
A girl's mood is affected by many factors, from getting up too early and uncomfortable shoes to the death of a loved one. Regardless of the situation, you can boost her morale by being there and offering your support.
Original article: https://www.nur.kz/family/relationship/1547851-kak-podnyat-nastroenie-devushke/
The girl's mood is changeable, like the wind. Sometimes she herself does not know why she suddenly became sad. But it's also easy to get her smile back. These methods will surely help.
If you're with a girl who's in a bad mood, try one of these tactics.
Don't give unsolicited advice, but show empathy. Help the girl speak out, and she will feel better. Important: if you immediately ask how things are, or what happened, this may be perceived as a duty phrase. Surely, you will hear in response "everything is fine." Show that you noticed the condition of the girl.
Example:
- You are sad today.
— There is such a thing.
— Something very unpleasant happened that spoiled your mood.
- I had a fight with my sister.
- I understand. I also always feel terrible because of conflicts in the family. You are mad at her.
— And for yourself. Both are to blame. They quarreled over nonsense.
— Do you think that we should make up soon?
— Yes, but I'm still pissed off and I might say bad things to her again.
- I think she feels the same way.
But you love each other.
— I'll call her in the evening.
- Great idea.
Psychologist's comment:
Indeed, speaking is effective and one of the many methods of psychotherapy. Sometimes a person becomes much easier just because someone listened to him. The internal tension is removed. And when a person relaxes, he often makes the right decisions. Even the famous American psychotherapist Milton Erickson said: a person himself knows the solution to his problem, even if he does not know about it.
Show the girl that she is not alone, that you are ready to solve her problem. In most cases, this is nonsense (according to men) like a broken nail or a broken-up beloved star couple, and rather psychological help is required.
Phrases to help you:
"You have me, and now we'll figure out what to do with it."
"I will help you, no matter what happens"
Psychologist's comment:
There are male and female types of response to a difficult situation.
As a rule, if a man has a problem, it is better not to touch him. He prefers to think and make decisions alone. Another thing is a woman. In a difficult situation, she needs a man's shoulder, or even a "vest" to cry.
There are many ways to distract from the problem. For example, tell a funny or motivating story.
Example:
“Here you are, you say, you are afraid to speak tomorrow. Do you remember how I was speechless at the state? I really stood in front of the commission for about five minutes like an idol and could not say a word. And Semenova is still like this: “Young man, you probably had such a delicious breakfast that you ate it with your tongue.” Do you know what I did? He imagined that she was dancing lambada with the dean. Barely held back a laugh. And the situation seemed to me not so terrible. Performed normally. They also advise presenting the audience naked. But I'm afraid I would have laughed then.
"
If a girl is worried about a bad haircut, remember a funny story about a hairdresser's in your life. In general, you get the point. If you don't have stories on a "given" topic, any hilarious one that the girl hasn't heard yet will do.
Psychologist's comment:
Switching attention is an effective way to distract from the problem. But it is very difficult for a person to switch, because he is fixated on his experience. The person next to you can help.
There is another effective way to cheer up a girl live. Give a sincere compliment while making eye contact. But the on-duty “you are beautiful” is too simple. Compliments must be personal. Examples:
“You have an amazing sense of style. I'm surprised every time how cool you look. Have you considered becoming a stylist?
You have very beautiful eyes. Such a rare blue color, with long eyelashes. When we first met, I didn’t even notice what you were wearing, what hairstyle you had.
I couldn't take my eyes off yours.
I recently remembered how you got a kitten out of a tree. Do you remember? He was so small, defenseless, afraid. I know few people as kind and brave as you.
Psychologist's comment:
Many are aware of the famous phrase that a woman loves with her ears. Of course, a compliment should not sound on duty and insincere. It is important to really admire a woman, and then the right words will come to mind. Compliments about appearance are perceived positively, although they can lead to some embarrassment. But it's not scary. Almost every woman has dissatisfaction with some part of her body that she wants to change at all costs. Now the nose is long, then the wrinkle interferes. For a man, it doesn't matter. The beauty and attractiveness of a woman is perceived by him as a whole, without going into details.
Praise for good human qualities is always perceived positively. Everyone has enough complexes. You can tell yourself “I’m smart” as much as you like, but when you hear it from someone else, the effect is completely different!
There are many ways to distract from the problem.
For example, tell a funny or motivating story. Photo: pixabay.com You can cheer up, even if you are not nearby. Girls love to chat. It's romantic. Some even fall in love without ever seeing a person. We tell you some simple simple ways how to cheer up a pen girlfriend.
You can send nice messages to your girl all day long, starting with “Good morning, most beautiful!” It's even better if you ask your friends to connect to it. Let everyone send her a couple of nice lines. Examples:
"The sun is shining today just to make you smile."
"You are one of the smartest girls I know."
“Knowing you, I have no doubt: you can do everything!”
"I saw a beautiful picture and remembered you."
Psychologist's comment:
Kind messages in instant messengers can charge a girl with mood for the whole day. She feels that she is remembered and mentally supported.
It is clear that correspondence will never replace live communication, and for closer relationships or discussion of serious things, conversations are needed at least by phone or video. But short positive messages are definitely useful.
Any girl will be pleased with poems dedicated to her. It's great if you have a talent for writing and can rhyme a few lines yourself. However, it is worth a try, even if you think that it will turn out clumsily.
Psychologist's comment:
This is generally a chic method and it works excellently. I personally witnessed this more than once. A verse dedicated to a woman increases her self-esteem and sets her in a romantic mood. After all, poetry to the ladies of the heart was traditionally written by true gentlemen. And even if there is no talent to rhyme, you can write in blank verse. The main thing is a sign of attention!
Agree: it's very easy.
And at the same time it works. Ideal if you are not a wordsmith. Without further ado, send a girl a funny picture. If you get a smiley face in response, you win! Aerobatics - to make a funny collage or a sticker for a messenger from a photo of a girl.
Psychologist's comment:
The picture is perceived positively if it is not hackneyed, funny and understandable to the addressee. Now there are many online photo editors where a photo of a girl can be placed on the cover of a glossy magazine or in some kind of solemn setting like a royal ball, a luxury yacht. It would seem a trifle and fiction, but the subconscious mind reacts sensitively to such pictures, and the positive is received.
Sometimes a problem arises: how to cheer up a girl if right now there is absolutely no time? The fastest and easiest way is to like her photos on social networks. Check out recent photos. Scroll down the feed and like some old pictures. A few good emoticons and a comment in the style of "The sea suits you", "Beauty!" - It is done.
