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Patricia Davis, MS
Maintaining your sex life might seem like the last thing on your list of priorities. After all, kids, career, and your social life keep you busy. You’re not the only one. Less than 50% of women who’ve been married over 4 years say they want regular sex. If you’d rather roll over and go to sleep than be intimate with your partner, it might be time to start thinking about improving your sex life. These eight tips will help.
Research shows that couples who talk about sex together tend to have better sex. You don’t get what you don’t ask for. It can also be helpful to know if the things you’re doing in the bedroom are effective. Communicating with your partner about sex can help you both to more effectively state your needs and let each other know when you are (or aren’t) feeling ready for intimacy. Who knows, it might just improve your overall relationship as a couple.
Are you waiting until you hit the sheets to get your hands on each other? If so, you’re doing it wrong. Great sex begins with the small touches. Holding hands, kissing, or hugging throughout the day will put you both in the mood for when you get the chance to be intimate. So don’t wait to get a little handsy. It’ll strengthen your relationship and create an atmosphere of trust and love.
Still using the same moves you used in the early days of your relationship? It’s time to get creative.
All of us (but especially women) get turned on by different things at different times, depending on our mood. So don’t use the old “fall back” when it comes to sex. The nice thing about intimacy is that there are numerous ways to spice things up. Massage, dirty talk, toys, and new locations or positions can help. Whatever you do, aim to keep things fresh.
Intimacy is not all roses, but talking about it like it is may improve your sexual satisfaction. A 2016 study found that couples who could joke about embarrassing sexual moments and emphasized praise during sex had higher sexual satisfaction. Keeping things positive in (and out) of the bedroom will help you both stay satisfied with your sex life.
Mental foreplay is the most effective type of foreplay. Talk and flirt regularly throughout the day, even if it’s just a short text or email. Being attentive and complimenting your spouse often sets the mood long before you reach the bedroom.
It’s a well-known fact that exercise produces endorphins that lift your mood. In addition to having many other health benefits, exercise might also increase your sex drive. When you exercise, the circulation in your body improves (including the blood flow to your genitals). With increased circulation your mood and sexual desire will improve. Lace up and hit the gym together for even more benefits before you get moving in the bedroom.
Sharing household chores can lead to more satisfying and more frequent sex. Research shows that creating fairness in the division of labor at home may spice things up in the bedroom. Let him cook a little more. Split up laundry and work together on household chores whenever possible.
If you can’t seem to get your partner interested in intimacy in the evenings, you might be trying the wrong time of day. Instead of your normal routine in the evenings, try adding sex into your morning or afternoon schedule.
With men’s testosterone levels peaking in the morning and women’s ovulation hormones happening in the afternoons, you’ll be better served to have sex during those times when one (or both) of you is ready instead of in the evenings when both of you are exhausted.
Improving sex and intimacy in your relationship doesn’t have to be difficult. With a few small tweaks you can enhance your relationship together instead of falling asleep watching TV before you drift off to sleep.
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Last Updated: 3/14/2018
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Not only can you prolong a sex session by switching up positions, but if you stick to “low-impact sex positions, like missionary position,” says Stubbs, you can make the experience last longer. For example, doggy style is high on the sensation spectrum of sex positions and because of this it can lead to not only premature ejaculation from a partner with a penis, but a really speedy climax on their end. Taking these types of sex positions out of the equation will make a big difference.
How you treat your body can dramatically impact your ability to enjoy a nice long session between the sheets. Regular exercise promotes better blood flow (for women and men), Levine says. "Both of you will feel healthier, and you get the bonus endorphins and stamina to mix into your couple time." Quitting smoking and limiting drinking can also help improve stamina—especially for men. "A healthy vascular system is essential if a man wants to have a reliable and strong erection," Levine says.
"Smoking does nothing but slow both of you down." A drink or two is fine, but remember: Alcohol is a depressant; imbibe too much, and it can impact your sexual appetite.
With our hectic lives, sometimes we want to have sex, but just don’t have it in us to give it our all. How to last longer in bed without getting tired? Prioritize or plan your sexcapade. “Planning sex may not sound sexy or spontaneous, but if you reframe the building up to event, you can make it fun,” says Stubbs. Having it on the calendar and knowing ahead of time that you and your partner are going to have an evening of sexual bliss in advance can help alleviate getting tired too quickly. You’re aroused throughout the day and have something to look forward to. “If you don’t prioritize sex, and do it after a long day of work, you could be setting yourself up for failure,” says Stubbs. Possible sexual dysfunction can be avoided if both your body and head are well-rested and 100% in the game.
We get it: Sunrise yoga, 9-to-5 job, cocktails with friends, and catching up on season four of The Handmaid's Tale all in time to get a full night’s sleep takes energy and dedication. But so does the quest to last longer in bed. In addition to making time for sex, also make that time about trying new things. “Most people leave way too little time for a juicy exploratory encounter,” says Cooper. She recommends stimulating new places on your partner’s body and experimenting with varying levels of pressure—both things that require time and intention. Using toys to tease while exploring those new areas can also help extend those sex sessions.
Not only are condoms vital for preventing STIs, they can also help you make sex last longer. For most guys, a condom decreases penis sensitivity—the thicker the condom, the less he'll feel and the longer it will take him to orgasm. Condoms come in all different thicknesses, ranging from 0.
05 millimeters to 1 millimeter. If you're looking for a thick condom to decrease sensation, try Lifestyles Extra Strength. (Never, however, double up on condoms. That is a recipe for condom slippage and tearing.)
Kegel exercises—basically squeezing your pelvic floor muscles as you would to stop peeing midstream—can help heighten your arousal. The stronger your pelvic floor muscles, the stronger your orgasm. Men can do their own version of Kegels. "Studies show that Kegel exercises can help men improve the strength of their erection and help with premature ejaculation," says Levine.
You’ve been going at it for an hour. Your hair has never been more tangled, all your mascara has somehow left your eyelashes and flaked on to your cheeks, and the lacy bra you so carefully picked out is just a heap on the floor. How do you keep going when your pre-coital look has clearly fallen apart but you’re not quite ready to throw in the towel? Do a little mental cheerleading with yourself.
Take a moment to check in with your body regardless of how it may look and remember: you were sexy before and you’ll be sexy after. In fact, right now, you’re doing great—mascara flakes and all!
Remember when Michael Scott ate a whole bowl of fettuccine Alfredo to prepare for a race? Don’t do that. Do, however, take water breaks—or cuddle/massage/chat/shower breaks during sex. Intimacy and sensuality mean a lot of different things to different people. “Maybe that's explicit sexual acts or maybe not,” says Levkoff. A shower, for example, doesn't have to mean sex is over—it can be a part of the ongoing sexual experience, a steamy break before orgasm number two.
As Levkoff points out, sex isn’t just penetration. There are so many things that fall under the tier of sex that to limit your concept of sex as just penetration, is to miss out on a lot. If you want to make sex last longer, Stubbs suggests making it into a game.
Whether it’s a game you came up with on your own or something you purchase at a sex toy store, there are a lot of different and creative ways to prolong sex if you see the bigger picture. A deck of cards, flipping through the Kama Sutra for ideas, sex-related board games, or DTF dice are all things that can slow down the action and stave off the ending even longer.
Who says Sunday’s romp can’t be Tuesday’s fantasy? This way, that one time she surprised you with a new move won’t just be exciting in the moment, but for weeks to come (no pun intended).
This feeling comes over me especially on Thursday evenings. It's not Friday yet, which means you'll have to work again tomorrow. But still, it's almost the end of the week, which means I'm breaking productivity records for the fourth day in a row. I want to sleep, it’s also terribly cold outside, daylight hours last at most six hours, and the general mood can be described with the words “let me just lie down and die.
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But I'm a man, after all. I must have balls of steel, an unbending will, an eternal riot of testosterone. Especially when it comes to sex. And I, sitting at work, do not feel any desire to sleep with anyone. I'm too lazy to even go to the supermarket for beer on the way home. nine0003
There is a stereotype that women usually refuse sex under the pretext of being tired or feeling unwell. And this usually does not indicate that they are really exhausted or sick, but that we offended them with something or did something wrong (for example, we said hello or looked). Perhaps sometimes this is a really insidious female trick to make us suffer and realize our mistakes. But it seems that fatigue can sometimes really calm down any libido. nine0003
Malcolm Harris told us in an interview with a best-selling millennial author that we do have less and less sex. Our generation suffers from depression too often, works very hard, regularly faces economic crisis and generally fights for survival rather than enjoying life.
What's the sex like?
Sex does not always have to be like a crazy erotic rodeo where you are a ferocious and untamed bull and the girl is an energetic and sexy tamer. Don't think that to achieve a great orgasm you have to do everything extremely fast and spend a lot of energy. nine0003
When you are in a great mood and full of energy, you can turn on from a half-word and start a sexual dance instantly. We would compare it to driving a sports convertible: sometimes you want to press the gas to the floor and still experience 300 horses at once, and sometimes it’s much more fun to drive calmly along a picturesque highway to romantic music. Try to turn on a melodrama or a good comedy, pour a glass of wine for the lady and yourself, light candles and just sit comfortably on the couch. Kiss after kiss, a couple of hugs and gentle strokes - and strength will gradually increase. But even if both of you just fall asleep sweetly, believe me, the girl will only be touched by how comfortable and easy it is for you to be with her.
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Globally, there are two types of porn: hardcore with elements of violence and tender, beautiful fairy tale, where everything is perfect. Most often, both men and women like the first option more (yes, everyone loves coercion, group sex and other perversions, because they don’t dare to repeat it in life). But sometimes there is a mood to see something beautiful and candy. So why not try and in life to have a very measured, calm and gentle sex? Concentrate on the quality of the approach, not speed. Believe me, you can not even change your position, but be more attentive and generous with touches and kisses, just like your girlfriend. There is a risk, however, that one of you will not navigate the new tactics and turn into a log. Fortunately, with the help of the tongue, you can not only have oral sex, but also tell your partner what is going wrong. Formulate it as a suggestion or desire, not a complaint or reproach, and everything will be fine.
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10 things not to do immediately after sex Let there be something interesting from us.
Perhaps there is no such man who would calmly treat his early ejaculation. Every third seeks to increase the time of sexual intercourse by hook or by crook. To know how to have sex longer, you need to know why, in fact, orgasm comes early.
And then just pull it off. nine0003
A larger percentage of those who are interested in the question of how to have sex longer fall into the age category of 16-23 years. And this is no coincidence. Firstly, during this period, a young man most often has sex for the first time. Secondly, there is not much experience yet. At a young age, you should not worry about ejaculation coming too quickly. All comes with experience.
How to prolong sexual intercourse?
Today, men in sex seek not only to enjoy themselves, but also ...
In addition, at a young age, all feelings are greatly heightened on an emotional level. That's why orgasm comes earlier. When a young man is completely and completely focused on the process, feels it with every cell, he quickly reaches the sexual peak. And that's okay. If a young guy is wondering how long to have sex, then there is only one answer - to practice this same sex. The more often it happens, the faster the emotions become dull, and the process becomes longer.
Sexual peak in the representatives of the stronger sex falls on 30-45 years. And it is at this age that experience is usually already enough, and the question of how to have sex for a long time still remains. There are some fairly simple tips that will help in this problem. The main thing is not to get hung up on such a topic, otherwise there is a risk that an erection will not come at all at the most crucial moment.
Sexual relations: how to learn to have sex? nine0003
This article will tell you how to learn to have sex. Simple tips separately...
This is the easiest and most difficult way at the same time. Try to abstract during the process. Focus your thoughts on one thing, not dwelling on the feelings and sensations that you are experiencing at the moment. It is very important not to overdo it, otherwise the erection may disappear altogether, and you absolutely do not need this. The most realistic option is to look at the surrounding objects.
So the thoughts will remain in place, and the sensations will subside a little. nine0003
For those who are struggling with the question of how to have sex for longer, it is worth paying attention to the movements during the process. Nature has endowed men with a unique property - to delay orgasm. It is enough to approach the peak, slow down and pay attention to simple caresses, without strong penetration. This will cool the ardor a little, slow down the ejaculation. The main thing here is not to overdo it, otherwise the partner may forget about the orgasm altogether. But it depends more on the woman, of course. Slowly kiss the chest, neck, ear. You can whisper all sorts of erotic words, supporting the desire and passion of your partner, while delaying the male orgasm. nine0003
Each member of the stronger sex has his own favorite and most pleasant position. Therefore, when asking a typical male question about how to have sex longer, you should pay attention to this.
During the process, feel free to change positions to delay orgasm. For example, from your most beloved to the one that does not give such pleasure. Firstly, this and the duration of the benefit. Secondly, surprise your partner. Ingenuity is quite appreciated by women. Especially if it is liberated and open to the new. nine0003
Let's find out how many times a week you need to have sex?...
This article will talk about how many times a week you need to have sex. However, give...
Every man knows that the second consecutive sexual intercourse lasts longer. How to use it? There are two options: you can either masturbate some time before sex, or make the first sexual intercourse a warm-up. Here, again, much depends on the partner. If she is not against an erotic marathon, then the second method is more suitable. If not, then the first option can help out for a while. When wondering how a man can have sex longer, a woman should focus on oral sex.
When the partner reaches the peak, you can give him a little rest, and then enjoy a full and long sexual intercourse. It lies entirely with the woman. That is why men should be more careful in choosing a partner for themselves - one who will be sensitive and caring, and not focused only on herself. nine0003
If none of the above works, then you can bet on additional funds. So, in pharmacies and sex shops there are special lubricants, creams and lubricants, which have a cooling component in their composition. He, in turn, allows you to prolong sexual intercourse for a while. Just be careful when choosing. Firstly, you should not get too carried away with such means. Secondly, you need to purchase only those drugs that are sold in special stores, they are not fakes. This will save men's health. nine0003
The best way to have longer sex is still with a condom. First, it's safe. Especially if the partner is little known.
Secondly, dense latex does not give such a strong feeling from the process, which prolongs it. Thirdly, there are condoms designed specifically for prolonged sex. For example, Long Love by Contex. They contain the same cooling component that is also present in a lubricant or a special cream. nine0003
Ancient Chinese and Japanese thinkers wrote about how long to have sex. And the most important secret lies in breathing. If you take control over it during the process, then you can control the body, subordinating it to your will. You can master breathing exercises, which allows you to stretch sexual intercourse for an unlimited time, with the help of training.
Bring your knees together and lower yourself onto them. On a deep exhale, draw in your stomach. Hold this position for a while (2-25 seconds). Relax your abdominal muscles as you inhale. Repeat this exercise 5-10 times. It helps control the abdominals as well as the obliques.
This, in turn, will have a positive effect on sexual intercourse later. nine0003
Practice full breathing in three fronts. First, draw in your stomach as you inhale, then relax it as you exhale - once. Then immediately inhale deeply with your chest (it should increase in size), relax as you exhale - once. Then take a half breath with your chest, exhaling with your stomach. Sharp and strong. You need to repeat this complex at least 5 times.
Hatha yoga helps not only to prolong sexual intercourse with proper breathing, but also to make a man more resilient in the process of sexual intercourse. The described exercises used during sex are well relaxing, distracting and allow you not to get tired for a long time. nine0003
If you are still wondering how to have sex longer, and none of the described methods helps (ejaculation happens too quickly), then it will not be superfluous to visit two specialists: a urologist and a sex therapist. The first one, after the examination and according to the results of the analyzes, will tell about the physical side of the process, the second - about the psychological one.
