Keywords
Patricia Davis, MS
Maintaining your sex life might seem like the last thing on your list of priorities. After all, kids, career, and your social life keep you busy. You’re not the only one. Less than 50% of women who’ve been married over 4 years say they want regular sex. If you’d rather roll over and go to sleep than be intimate with your partner, it might be time to start thinking about improving your sex life. These eight tips will help.
Research shows that couples who talk about sex together tend to have better sex. You don’t get what you don’t ask for. It can also be helpful to know if the things you’re doing in the bedroom are effective. Communicating with your partner about sex can help you both to more effectively state your needs and let each other know when you are (or aren’t) feeling ready for intimacy. Who knows, it might just improve your overall relationship as a couple.
Are you waiting until you hit the sheets to get your hands on each other? If so, you’re doing it wrong. Great sex begins with the small touches. Holding hands, kissing, or hugging throughout the day will put you both in the mood for when you get the chance to be intimate. So don’t wait to get a little handsy. It’ll strengthen your relationship and create an atmosphere of trust and love.
Still using the same moves you used in the early days of your relationship? It’s time to get creative.
All of us (but especially women) get turned on by different things at different times, depending on our mood. So don’t use the old “fall back” when it comes to sex. The nice thing about intimacy is that there are numerous ways to spice things up. Massage, dirty talk, toys, and new locations or positions can help. Whatever you do, aim to keep things fresh.
Intimacy is not all roses, but talking about it like it is may improve your sexual satisfaction. A 2016 study found that couples who could joke about embarrassing sexual moments and emphasized praise during sex had higher sexual satisfaction. Keeping things positive in (and out) of the bedroom will help you both stay satisfied with your sex life.
Mental foreplay is the most effective type of foreplay. Talk and flirt regularly throughout the day, even if it’s just a short text or email. Being attentive and complimenting your spouse often sets the mood long before you reach the bedroom.
It’s a well-known fact that exercise produces endorphins that lift your mood. In addition to having many other health benefits, exercise might also increase your sex drive. When you exercise, the circulation in your body improves (including the blood flow to your genitals). With increased circulation your mood and sexual desire will improve. Lace up and hit the gym together for even more benefits before you get moving in the bedroom.
Sharing household chores can lead to more satisfying and more frequent sex. Research shows that creating fairness in the division of labor at home may spice things up in the bedroom. Let him cook a little more. Split up laundry and work together on household chores whenever possible.
If you can’t seem to get your partner interested in intimacy in the evenings, you might be trying the wrong time of day. Instead of your normal routine in the evenings, try adding sex into your morning or afternoon schedule.
With men’s testosterone levels peaking in the morning and women’s ovulation hormones happening in the afternoons, you’ll be better served to have sex during those times when one (or both) of you is ready instead of in the evenings when both of you are exhausted.
Improving sex and intimacy in your relationship doesn’t have to be difficult. With a few small tweaks you can enhance your relationship together instead of falling asleep watching TV before you drift off to sleep.
LiVe Well
Last Updated: 3/14/2018
LiVe Well
LiVe Well
LiVe Well
LiVe Well
Pediatrics
LiVe Well
LiVe Well
LiVe Well
Copyright ©2022, Intermountain Healthcare, All rights reserved.
Not only can you prolong a sex session by switching up positions, but if you stick to “low-impact sex positions, like missionary position,” says Stubbs, you can make the experience last longer. For example, doggy style is high on the sensation spectrum of sex positions and because of this it can lead to not only premature ejaculation from a partner with a penis, but a really speedy climax on their end. Taking these types of sex positions out of the equation will make a big difference.
How you treat your body can dramatically impact your ability to enjoy a nice long session between the sheets. Regular exercise promotes better blood flow (for women and men), Levine says. "Both of you will feel healthier, and you get the bonus endorphins and stamina to mix into your couple time." Quitting smoking and limiting drinking can also help improve stamina—especially for men. "A healthy vascular system is essential if a man wants to have a reliable and strong erection," Levine says.
"Smoking does nothing but slow both of you down." A drink or two is fine, but remember: Alcohol is a depressant; imbibe too much, and it can impact your sexual appetite.
With our hectic lives, sometimes we want to have sex, but just don’t have it in us to give it our all. How to last longer in bed without getting tired? Prioritize or plan your sexcapade. “Planning sex may not sound sexy or spontaneous, but if you reframe the building up to event, you can make it fun,” says Stubbs. Having it on the calendar and knowing ahead of time that you and your partner are going to have an evening of sexual bliss in advance can help alleviate getting tired too quickly. You’re aroused throughout the day and have something to look forward to. “If you don’t prioritize sex, and do it after a long day of work, you could be setting yourself up for failure,” says Stubbs. Possible sexual dysfunction can be avoided if both your body and head are well-rested and 100% in the game.
We get it: Sunrise yoga, 9-to-5 job, cocktails with friends, and catching up on season four of The Handmaid's Tale all in time to get a full night’s sleep takes energy and dedication. But so does the quest to last longer in bed. In addition to making time for sex, also make that time about trying new things. “Most people leave way too little time for a juicy exploratory encounter,” says Cooper. She recommends stimulating new places on your partner’s body and experimenting with varying levels of pressure—both things that require time and intention. Using toys to tease while exploring those new areas can also help extend those sex sessions.
Not only are condoms vital for preventing STIs, they can also help you make sex last longer. For most guys, a condom decreases penis sensitivity—the thicker the condom, the less he'll feel and the longer it will take him to orgasm. Condoms come in all different thicknesses, ranging from 0.
05 millimeters to 1 millimeter. If you're looking for a thick condom to decrease sensation, try Lifestyles Extra Strength. (Never, however, double up on condoms. That is a recipe for condom slippage and tearing.)
Kegel exercises—basically squeezing your pelvic floor muscles as you would to stop peeing midstream—can help heighten your arousal. The stronger your pelvic floor muscles, the stronger your orgasm. Men can do their own version of Kegels. "Studies show that Kegel exercises can help men improve the strength of their erection and help with premature ejaculation," says Levine.
You’ve been going at it for an hour. Your hair has never been more tangled, all your mascara has somehow left your eyelashes and flaked on to your cheeks, and the lacy bra you so carefully picked out is just a heap on the floor. How do you keep going when your pre-coital look has clearly fallen apart but you’re not quite ready to throw in the towel? Do a little mental cheerleading with yourself.
Take a moment to check in with your body regardless of how it may look and remember: you were sexy before and you’ll be sexy after. In fact, right now, you’re doing great—mascara flakes and all!
Remember when Michael Scott ate a whole bowl of fettuccine Alfredo to prepare for a race? Don’t do that. Do, however, take water breaks—or cuddle/massage/chat/shower breaks during sex. Intimacy and sensuality mean a lot of different things to different people. “Maybe that's explicit sexual acts or maybe not,” says Levkoff. A shower, for example, doesn't have to mean sex is over—it can be a part of the ongoing sexual experience, a steamy break before orgasm number two.
As Levkoff points out, sex isn’t just penetration. There are so many things that fall under the tier of sex that to limit your concept of sex as just penetration, is to miss out on a lot. If you want to make sex last longer, Stubbs suggests making it into a game.
Whether it’s a game you came up with on your own or something you purchase at a sex toy store, there are a lot of different and creative ways to prolong sex if you see the bigger picture. A deck of cards, flipping through the Kama Sutra for ideas, sex-related board games, or DTF dice are all things that can slow down the action and stave off the ending even longer.
Who says Sunday’s romp can’t be Tuesday’s fantasy? This way, that one time she surprised you with a new move won’t just be exciting in the moment, but for weeks to come (no pun intended).
This feeling comes over me especially on Thursday evenings. It's not Friday yet, which means you'll have to work again tomorrow. But still, it's almost the end of the week, which means I'm breaking productivity records for the fourth day in a row. I want to sleep, it’s also terribly cold outside, daylight hours last at most six hours, and the general mood can be described with the words “let me just lie down and die.
”
But I'm a man, after all. I must have balls of steel, an unbending will, an eternal riot of testosterone. Especially when it comes to sex. And I, sitting at work, do not feel any desire to sleep with anyone. I'm too lazy to even go to the supermarket for beer on the way home.
There is a stereotype that women usually refuse sex under the pretext of being tired or feeling unwell. And this usually does not indicate that they are really exhausted or sick, but that we offended them with something or did something wrong (for example, we said hello or looked). Perhaps sometimes this is a really insidious female trick to make us suffer and realize our mistakes. But it seems that fatigue can sometimes really calm down any libido.
Malcolm Harris told us in an interview with a best-selling millennial author that we do have less and less sex. Our generation suffers from depression too often, works very hard, regularly faces economic crisis and generally fights for survival rather than enjoying life.
What's the sex like?
Sex does not always have to be like a crazy erotic rodeo where you are a ferocious and untamed bull and the girl is an energetic and sexy tamer. Don't think that to achieve a great orgasm you have to do everything extremely fast and spend a lot of energy.
When you are in a great mood and full of energy, you can turn on from a half-word and start a sexual dance instantly. We would compare it to driving a sports convertible: sometimes you want to press the gas to the floor and still experience 300 horses at once, and sometimes it’s much more fun to drive calmly along a picturesque highway to romantic music. Try to turn on a melodrama or a good comedy, pour a glass of wine for the lady and yourself, light candles and just sit comfortably on the couch. Kiss after kiss, a couple of hugs and gentle strokes - and strength will gradually increase. But even if both of you just fall asleep sweetly, believe me, the girl will only be touched by how comfortable and easy it is for you to be with her.
Globally, there are two types of porn: hardcore with elements of violence and tender, beautiful fairy tale, where everything is perfect. Most often, both men and women like the first option more (yes, everyone loves coercion, group sex and other perversions, because they don’t dare to repeat it in life). But sometimes there is a mood to see something beautiful and candy. So why not try and in life to have a very measured, calm and gentle sex? Concentrate on the quality of the approach, not speed. Believe me, you can not even change your position, but be more attentive and generous with touches and kisses, just like your girlfriend. There is a risk, however, that one of you will not navigate the new tactics and turn into a log. Fortunately, with the help of the tongue, you can not only have oral sex, but also tell your partner what is going wrong. Formulate it as a suggestion or desire, not a complaint or reproach, and everything will be fine.
You might also be interested in:
You have been caught having sex. What to do?
How to have sex in the pool?
How to forget your ex?
How to understand where a girl's erogenous zone is?
Why should you have oral sex?
How to have sex in a fitting room?
Try watching porn with a girl
We know what destroys your privacy
How to have sex in a movie theater?
How to have sex in a car?
10 things not to do immediately after sex Let there be something interesting from us.
How often in your life people hear a similar phrase: "My girlfriend tired during sex"? Almost never, because sharing your intimate life, subject it to discussion, and even more so to speak openly about any problems may not be for everyone.
But the fact remains, and the problem is often does not disappear by itself. Therefore, it is necessary to give such important topic due attention in order to avoid subsequent conflicts, which arise on the basis of omissions and dissatisfaction with their sexual life.
Article content
This problem is not is an isolated case. Such situations are especially common in the initial stage, when the girl is just starting to have sex. It may deliver no small discomfort to both the girl herself and her chosen one, because sex should serve as a release and a source of pleasure for both partners.
In general, many pairs have problems of a sexual nature, but are extremely reluctant to discuss them. Partners are often afraid to admit even to each other that something is not right for them. suits, if only not to belittle the self-esteem of a dear person.
Although, despite all the intimacy of the issue, a large number of people are already boldly discussing this topic on various forums. They share experience, ask counter and related questions. And if this article nevertheless attracted attention, then the question got up on edge and is as relevant as ever.
There can be several types of fatigue during sex in girls : physical, emotional and mixed. The selection of these types is absolutely conditional.
Physical fatigue . It is understood that the girl plays an active role all the time, that is, poses are used in which she has to make physical efforts. For example, the pose of a rider. It is not surprising that in this situation the girl gets tired (how dares at all). To solve this kind of problem, you just need to talk with your partner and discuss the possibility of using other positions to please both parties (and not just the man).
Emotional fatigue. It happens that many men are too active in bed.
No, they are not just doing their job, but at the same time they are constantly trying to change positions, they talk a lot and, in general, I must say, they demand too much. And the girl just wants to relax and have fun. Hence emotional fatigue, exhaustion. After such "adventures" a sweet dream is the only pleasure. The solution to this problem will also be a frank conversation with your soul mate (but not during sex, of course).
Mixed fatigue or psychophysical . He did not have time to finish, and she was already tired. How is this possible? Too long? But girls love for a long time, don't they? Or not? What's the catch here? The time indicator is not a qualitative characteristic.
Rather, on the contrary, if too long active “work” does not bring the desired sensations, not only physical fatigue appears, but also emotional (tuned in, tuned in and nothing). If a girl during the process declares that she is tired and wants nothing more, then she simply does not see the point in continuing this “routine”.
She just got bored, and the constant pushing made her pretty physically exhausted.
The last type of fatigue hides much more complex causes, and therefore the solutions will not be so unambiguous. To begin with, it is necessary to understand why sex does not bring physical satisfaction to a girl. Perhaps she is shy? Or afraid? Or is it focused on something else?
It is necessary, again, through conversation, to find answers to all such questions, to look into the depths of your own feelings and sensations (as well as your partner). It can be overwhelming at first, but don't give up. Everything comes with experience, and "Moscow was not built right away."
More one of the possible options for eliminating psychophysical fatigue will be the replacement habitual sex to non-standard options. Which? Everyone decides for himself. It can be like a role-playing game, changing positions (replacing familiar ones with completely new ones), a change of scenery, and the use of all kinds of sex toys.
